The Bigger They Are
by Nova-chan
Summary: Lina finally gets wind of a spring that can ACTUALLY make things bigger! People included! So, what happens when she gets her wish?
1. A scary old man!

The Bigger They Are.....  
  
Xelloss: I like this story already. ^_^  
  
Filia: (whap!) You evil Namagomi! You're SO perverted! I'm utmostly sure that it will most certainly not be anything similar to what's boiling around in that peabrain mind of yours!!  
  
Gourry: I like to eat peas!!  
  
Lina: So, what IS this story about, anyway?  
  
NoV: ^_____^ (has remained unusually quiet for the past ten minutes)  
  
Zelgadis: This had better not be about me, that's all I'm saying.....  
  
Amelia: Don't worry! Justice will always triumph over all things evil and inJust!!  
  
Gourry: Even....dare I speak its name? ....cabbage?  
  
Amelia: Yes, Mr. Gourry, even.....but, I like cabbage.....  
  
Gourry: Ew, gross!  
  
Amelia: (fuming) As I am the Oujo of Justice, and since I like cabbage, and you do not, I declare you to be a warrior of injustice!!! A battle will now ensue!!!!  
  
Gourry: AAAHH!! (jumps on Lina's shoulder making her fall over)  
  
Lina: Watch it!!  
  
Gourry: Ehhh....(silly grin) Gomen!  
  
NoV: May the fic now begin!!  
**  
Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia sat in a booth at a restaurant famed for its tasty barbecue and kabobs. Lina could not resist passing through Peelsa without stopping at its most famous landmark: The Tasty Barbecue and Kabob Haven.  
  
She could already taste the juicy, barbecue-sauce-covered, boneless spare ribs, and flavorful green pepper, chicken, and tomato kabobs.  
  
Just as the entire table was coming close to drowning in Lina's drool, the slim waiter slid over to them, a notepad and pen in hand. "And what can I get for you all today?" he asked. "Shall we start with you, young lady?" He gestured to Amelia.  
  
"Yes," she said, nodding. "In the name of Justice, I shall have the 'Slather Me Salisbury!"  
  
"A fine choice," the wiry waiter agreed, writing down Amelia's order. "And, you?"  
  
Zelgadis leaned back into the leaking cushions of the booth. "I want......a gallon....no, two gallons of coffee."  
  
Giving the chimera an odd look, he continued to Gourry. "What will you be having today?"  
  
Gourry gave the waiter a big, toothy smile. "Two of everything, please."  
  
"Wh-what?? .....seriously?"  
  
Gourry nodded.  
  
"Hooray!" the waiter shouted, victoriously. "Now I can retire!!! And, what would you like, little girl?" he continued with Lina.  
  
Lina abruptly stood up, knocking over a basket of crackers in the process.  
  
"What do you mean, 'LITTLE GIRL'???" she demanded, stepping over Gourry and grabbing the poor, confused waiter by the collar.  
  
"M-may I suggest th-the kid's meal?" he wondered, almost whispering.  
  
Lina growled and threw the waiter across a nearby table and stormed out of the restaurant. "This is one 'little girl's' business that you'll never get again!!" she shouted, shaking her fist.  
  
"Hmm...." Gourry shrugged. "I think she took it pretty well, huh?"  
**  
Lina hurled a fist-sized rock into a pond outside the city. She stared at her reflection in the water and threw another rock in to distort the image.  
  
The sorceress sighed. "If only I were....I wish that I could be....well....bigger."  
  
"Bigger, you say?" an elderly-sounding voice wondered, directly behind her.  
  
Lina, shocked and surprised out of her mind, fell face-first into the pond. She stood up with a sudden start. "Don't ever do that again!!!" she yelled.  
  
The old man who had startled her sweatdropped. "Sorry. I couldn't help but overhear you talking to yourself here on this rock." The short man with a long white beard, supporting himself on a crooked cane cleared his throat. "And I have a piece of information that might be worth your time."  
  
Lina thought she saw a purple glint flash across the old man's eye. "So....what kind of information?" she asked, not being able to resist from being pulled in by the promise of something 'worth her time.'  
  
"You see," he said, craftily, "the people in this town tell stories of an enchanted spring-one that makes things, and not just vegetables, grow bigger. A lot of people, even some of the people in the village, say that it's just a fairy tale, a fable, some old wives tale. But, I've seen it. Yep. Dropped my son into the spring once."  
  
"What happened to him?" Lina asked, intrigued.  
  
"Y'ever heard of Jack and the beanstalk?"  
  
"Yes...."  
  
"He was the beanstalk."  
  
"Oh...." Lina paused for a minute, skeptically. Then, "What are we waiting for?? Take me to the spring!!"  
**  
NoV: Wee!! Betcha can't guess what's gonna happen!! Sorry I have updated in FOREVER!! Hope you enjoy! Next chappie soon!! 


	2. What happened to me?

The Bigger They Are....  
  
**  
  
Lina: This had better not be going anywhere perverted.....  
  
Xelloss: Wouldn't that be an interesting turn of events? I think I like that old guy....what's his name?  
  
NoV: NoV no know!  
  
Gourry: I like pudding!  
  
Zelgadis: Silence is golden.  
  
Gourry: And so is pudding!  
  
NoV: Hurray! Ficcie part 2 time!  
**  
Lina dragged the short, old man in the direction that he told her the spring was in. She abruptly stopped, and released the elder, who dropped to the ground beside her feet.  
  
"All right, old guy," she said, two fangs appearing at the corners of her mouth, "tell me how this spring works. And, there had better not be any tricks, or I'll-"  
  
"Yes, yes," the man grumbled, waving his hand around. "You'll destroy me and all of my descendants. I know, I know." The purple glint shone in his eye once again. "As for how this spring works-all you have to do is jump in!"  
  
Lina leaned close to him. "You mean....I don't have to go find some magic spell book or defeat some insane magician or dragon??"  
  
"Nope. Just jump right in!"  
  
The sorceress shrugged. "I might as well!" Lina launched herself off of the bank and into the little pond-like spring. She found that it was a lot deeper than it looked. Not wanting to disturb the magic around her, she allowed herself to sit at the bottom of the spring, cross-legged. Soon, her arms and legs and even her midsection began to tingle. _This is it!_ she thought, excitedly, right before she blacked out into total darkness.  
**  
Someone.....giggling.  
  
"Mr. Gourry!" someone was shouting. "It is impolite to laugh at people when they are unconscious! Justice would surely be ashamed!!"  
  
"This is bad.....she's going to kill us when she wakes up," someone else was saying, or grumbling.  
  
Two fiery eyes squinted open. "What in the hell......" Lina grumbled. Slowly, blurry figures around her melted into Amelia, Zelgadis, and Gourry, who was madly giggling.  
  
"Miss Lina? Are you....oh-kay?" Amelia wondered, fearfully. Lina noticed that the young princess' eyebrow was slightly raised. She was staring at Lina's body, instead of looking at her face.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Lina muttered. "Would anybody liked to tell me what happened??"  
  
Gourry began to laugh outright. He fell onto the floor and rolled around, holding his sides.  
  
"Ignore him," Zelgadis murmured, rolling his eyes. "As for what happened, we're not sure."  
  
"Yeah," Amelia chirped. "We went looking for you after you stormed out of the Tasty Barbecue and Kabob Haven. When we found you, you were unconscious and lying on the bank of a little spring in the middle of the woods. And....you were....." Amelia blushed and couldn't finish.  
  
"I was what??" Lina demanded.  
  
Zelgadis stared at a spot on the wall, and Amelia looked down at her toes. Gourry continued to roll around on the floor, laughing wildly.  
  
Lina growled. "Fine! I'll see for myself! You're probably all jealous anyway!!" she yelled. The sorceress jumped out of the bed, and found that her legs were a little wobbly. She went a little bit slower over to the mirror.  
  
She glared at her reflection. A look of pure terror spread across her face when she got a good look at herself. "Is this mirror broken???" she shrieked, directing at no on in particular.  
  
"No, Miss Lina," Amelia replied softly, still staring at her toes.  
  
Lina jolted backwards. "But---it CAN'T BE!!!!" she wailed, throwing her hands up to the ceiling.  
**  
NoV: End of part 2. ^.^  
  
Zelgadis: That's evil.  
  
Gourry: I was really happy in this chappie.  
  
Xelloss: As was I.  
  
Lina: Xelloss, you weren't even in this chapter! Or the first one for the matter.  
  
Xelloss: Exactly. ^_^  
  
Amelia: What happened to Miss Lina?? What did that spring and that old man do to her??"  
  
Xelloss: It disfigured her beyond all comparison!! Muahaha!! Excuse me. ^_^  
  
Lina: No!  
  
NoV: Stay tuned to find out!! ^_^_^_^_^ 


	3. The old man's true identity!

The Bigger They Are!! Part 3!  
  
NoV: Urgh! Finally, I'm out of school and I have time to write this thing!!! Gah!!!  
  
Xelloss: You weren't missed. Trust me.  
  
NoV: (fumes) Why do I even put up with you?? And that stupid Patrick!!! Going around breaking me heart like that.....(rants)  
  
Zelgadis: Who are you talking about?  
  
NoV: Patrick?? Patrick who??? I don't know anyone named Patrick?? What would make you think that???  
  
Lina: (sigh) I'm sure everyone is as curious as I am to find out what happened to me. Let's find out....  
  
**  
  
Lina gawked at herself in the mirror for a full ten minutes. Her entire body had somehow gotten.....fatter. He stomach was hanging over her belt, and even poking out of her shirt some. Her breasts were barely being supported, and the buttons holding them in looked ready to pop. He face had thick layers of fat that were hanging in flaps of skin. She appeared to have enough excess skin to parachute with.  
  
"Wh-what??? What in the hell happened??" she demanded, pointing at all three of her traveling companions.  
  
Amelia shrugged. Zelgadis rolled his eyes and turned to the right. Gourry giggled madly on the floor.  
  
Lina decided to take out her anger on the latter. "You bumbling jellyfish!!! It's probably ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" The now overweight sorceress fumed. "I'm going to kill you!!!!"  
  
Gourry snickered, trying to hold in his insane laughter. "You could just sit on me and...and put me out of my misery!!" He again broke out in hysterical laughter.  
  
"Really, Miss Lina," Amelia offered, assuringly, "there are programs to help people who-"  
  
"I am NOT overweight!!" Lina shrieked. "And no one will say otherwise or they will DIE!!!"  
  
Zelgadis began to chuckle.  
  
"And what is so funny??" the flame-haired girl roared.  
  
"You're not fat. You're just fluffy!" He joined Gourry in rolling around on the wooden floor.  
  
Smoke blew out of Lina's ears. "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows...."  
  
Zelgadis and Gourry both snapped to attention immediately and sat up on the floor simultaneously.  
  
"That's more like it." Lina wobbled over to her bed and sat down. "Now, let's think about what could have happened. You said I was beside a spring?"  
  
"Yes," Zelgadis replied, blandly. "You were snoring away in a puddle of drool, dreaming about Gourry, no doubt."  
  
"Zelgadis," Lina threatened, "if I could still move as fast as I used to be able to, I'd kill you right now."  
  
"Of course you would."  
  
"Spring....spring...." she repeated to herself. "Why does that sound so familiar?"  
  
"You know!" Gourry exclaimed. "You remember the time you wanted to grow big and strong and you had to defeat the demon and then you would've turned old like the frog!! Ribbit!!!"  
  
"Gourry, you weren't even THERE, you IDIOT," Lina barked. "Besides, this is a COMPLETELY different situation. *cough*" She shook her head as if to clear it. "I remember some old man, a different one who said that I'd be tall and well-endowed if I got into the spring! Then, we went to the spring, and....everything got dark....that old man tricked me!! Not again!!! Ahhh!! I hate old people!!!"  
  
"Oh, but Miss Lina, you certainly must love me," a voice said from the doorway.  
  
Lina gasped when she turned around and saw the same old man with the same old purple glint in his eye.  
  
"You," she seethed. "What have you done to me???"  
  
"You look....familiar," Zelgadis mused, scratching a stony ledge on his face.  
  
"But, of course I do, Zelgadis dear," the old man said, winking. He raised her crooked cane in his wrinkly hand and vanished in a poof of purple smoke.  
  
"Where'd he go?" Amelia wondered, hoping that he wasn't hiding under her skirt like the last person to have poofed off in purple smoke.  
  
"I do wonder how you did not recognize me, my dearest Lina," a different voice said, floating behind them.  
  
Lina slowly turned around to see everyone's favorite trickster priest, fully robed, with the old man's cane, which he quickly snapped back into his usual jeweled staff.  
  
"XELLOSS!!" Lina raged. "I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!! AAAAHHH!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!"  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: Lovely touch. I liked it.  
  
Lina: Yes, but I'm not like pseudo-Lina. I'm perfectly in shape and ready to kick you're a-  
  
Xelloss: Not in front of the children!!  
  
Zelgadis: Since when do you care about the children?  
  
Xelloss: Our children, Zel-chan?  
  
Zelgadis: In your dreams.  
  
Xelloss: In YOURS.  
  
NoV: Heh.....until nexties!! Thought I'd get in another chappie before vacation!! So, tell me what you think Lina should do to Xelloss, and what she should do about her problem!! 


	4. Lina and Xelloss Go Shopping

The Bigger They Are Part 4  
  
**  
  
NoV: It's been awhile, ne? Well, I've been on vacation.  
  
Lina: Why didn't you take me??  
  
NoV: Well....  
  
Lina: You know I love the beach!!  
  
Zelgadis: If you REALLY went to the beach, then why don't you have a tan?  
  
NoV: Why would I??  
  
Zelgadis: Hmm.....  
  
NoV: I stayed in the hotel room and watched Gilligan's Island all day!  
  
Amelia: Um....why would you do that?  
  
NoV: It was practically the only thing on....  
  
Xelloss: Why would you choose Gilligan over Cinemax?  
  
NoV: (to Gourry) And there was this one episode where Ginger made a mini- skirt and was wearing it around and all. So, Gilligan cut his pants into shorts and told everyone that if Ginger could have a mini-skirt, he wanted to wear mini-pants! And I was like, "Wow, this is so entertaining!!" (dies laughing)  
  
Gourry: Coconut is good for your barnacles!!  
  
NoV: Which reminds me....I saw this buoy that said, "Do not go beyond this point," so, of course I had to go see if there was like a net barrier down there. So, I swam out to it and held onto it while my feet felt around for the net. Well, as I was feeling, my leg felt a big scrape as I rubbed against some barnacles attached to the buoy, and I swam back to shore really fast because it bled, and I feared sharks. ^_^  
  
Gourry: .....coconut is good for your barnacles!  
  
NoV: Anyway....  
  
Zelgadis: On with the fat jokes!!  
  
Lina: Hey!  
  
**  
  
Lina screamed in pure rage at the giggling mazoku floating above her. "WHY?? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME????"  
  
"Why not?" Xelloss wondered, rolling around in the air, in hysterical laughter. "I mean, you said, 'If only I were....I wish that I could be....well....bigger.' I thought I was helping you."  
  
Lina tried to grab his cloak. "You knew perfectly well what you were doing, you stupid damned fruitcake!!!" As she jumped up to try to hit him, the furniture in the room rattled and shook. Amelia raced around the room to keep small, breakable items like her mirror and Gourry's porcelain pickle from hitting the floor.  
  
"Well, I'd better be going," Xelloss said, grinning. "I've got people to see, lives to ruin.....ciao!" He disappeared in another poof of purple smoke. Amelia made sure, once again, that he wasn't underneath her skirt.  
  
Lina sank down to her knees, making the furniture shake for a second time. "My life is over!!" she exclaimed. "I'll never be able to fit into my tights ever again!!!" Immediately after she said this, her shirt burst open, buttons flying in every direction.  
  
"AAAAAAHHH!!" Gourry screamed. "My eyes!!" He hid under the bed, shivering in fear of what he had seen.  
  
Zelgadis, wishing to give Lina at least a little dignity, turned around, blushing furiously.  
  
Amelia grabbed a blanket from Lina's bed and handed it to the enlarged sorceress. Lina quickly wrapped the blue blanket around her body  
  
"We're going to have to get you some new clothes," Amelia noted, sighing. "While you do that, Miss Lina, we'll stay here at the inn. Mr. Zelgadis, Mr. Gourry and I will prepare some diet plans for you, so we can get you back to normal.....um.....size."  
  
"You're making me go alone?" Lina demanded. "Out into the cold, cruel, and otherwise disheartened world like this??"  
  
"Well," Amelia contemplated, "not completely alone....."  
  
**  
  
Xelloss and Lina, who had made a toga out of the blanket, were walking through a mall in the middle of the city. Passers-by gawked at the enormous Lina.  
  
"Now, waitaminute!" Xelloss yelped. "How in the heck did I get suckered into this? I mean, the time I had to help Zelgadis grow back his nose, I can understand. That time, I was in the room when you made me do it. But, I wasn't even on the human plain this time, and yet, here I am! Walking around with a huge, Greek-looking red-head!!" he carried on, dramatically.  
  
"Well, tough cookies," Lina snapped. "You're here, I'm here, and we may as well find some clothes."  
  
"Fine," the priest grumbled.  
  
"Let's go into this store," she suggested, waddling up to a very expensive department store. "By the way, you're paying for this, so I'm going to buy all the clothes I can find."  
  
"What??" Xelloss cried. He ran into the store to follow Lina.  
  
Lina had already found three outfits that she wanted to try on. She seemed happy now that she was amongst expensive clothes that she didn't have to pay for.  
  
"I'm going to go into the fitting room to try on these outfits," she said to Xelloss, who growled at her.  
  
"Yeah, if you can even fit in the fitting room," he grumbled.  
  
**  
  
"I HATE THIS STORE!! I HATE THESE CLOTHES! WHOEVER HEARD OF SELLING UGLY, UNCOMFOTABLE CLOTHES AT SUCH OUTRAGEOUS PRICES??" Lina raged inside the dressing room, throwing the undersized clothes at Xelloss, who stood by the fitting room.  
  
"Well," he said, peering over the door at her, "maybe you shouldn't have gotten clothes that would fit your old body."  
  
She glared at him. "I don't care what you say. I'll find enough clothes to keep you indebted to this store for the rest of your life!!" She stormed out of the dressing room.  
  
"And, sadly, I believe you," he groaned, following her back into the store.  
  
Lina had decidedly gone to the men's section and was looking at a pair of khaki shorts.  
  
Xelloss shook his head at her. "You can't wear men's clothes," he told her.  
  
"Why not?" she demanded, grabbing his collar.  
  
"Because!!" he shrieked, waving his arms around. "The inseam would be too long."  
  
"Who cares?" she asked, thumbing through the pile. "I'm getting these shorts."  
  
"You can't!" Xelloss exclaimed. "Guys have smaller thingies!!!"  
  
Everyone in the store turned and stared at the mazoku.  
  
He slowly turned around to face them all. "Um.....I meant bigger thingies! But, not thingies: inseams. Inseams, yes....." He revolved back around to look at Lina. "Get the shorts."  
  
**  
  
Lina: Ahh.....revenge is sweet.  
  
Xelloss: But, you are sweeter, Lina-chan.  
  
NoV: Sorry if Xel-chan was a little OOC in this chapter. Maybe Zel should've gone with her to the store. But, I thought Xelloss should pay for making her fat.  
  
Xelloss: Yes, thank-you for that....^_^  
  
NoV: Anyway, what would you like in future chappies?? Demand more and get more!!! 3 NoV  
  
P.S.  
  
NoV: .....uh, yeah....sorry this took so long! My new beta reader *cough* is really slow and aggravating....*taps foot* Oh-kay, from now on I beta myself!  
  
Xelloss: I wanna watch! ^_^  
  
NoV: Of course.....*sigh* 


	5. Xelloss and Gourry Get Fat Too!

The Bigger They Are Part 5  
  
**  
  
Lina: Well....I'm still big.....in the fic, that is.  
  
Amelia: Don't worry, Miss Lina. I'm sure that Mr. Zelgadis, Mr. Gourry and I will find the perfect diet with Justice on the side for you!  
  
NoV: Is everyone having a nice vacation?  
  
Zelgadis: Well, actually....  
  
NoV: Not you! The readers.....or, more specifically, the reviewers.  
  
Xelloss: Care to have another bonbon?  
  
Pocky: BONBON!!!!!  
  
Xelloss: *covers his ears* Ow.....  
  
NoV: Um.....this is Pocky.....I think she's a mazoku.....she was invented by my friend that I forget the name of....GreenEyes, I think it was.  
  
Xelloss: It doesn't matter.....even if you are extremely annoying, I still love you!  
  
NoV: Oh, yes, and Xelloss loves her.  
  
Pocky: *jumping on the couch* Love! Love! Love! Hate! Hate! Hate! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!  
  
Xelloss: *bouncing* Isn't she the best?  
  
Gourry: Indeed. ^_^  
  
Xelloss: Don't do that! ^_^ It's mine!  
  
Pocky: ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^  
  
Xelloss: .....oh-kay.  
  
NoV: Well, I suppose that it is time to start this here chapter once again. *sits on a horse, twirling a rope*  
  
Pocky: I love chicken pesto even though I'm an evil mazoku bent on chaos and unhappy destruction!  
  
Xelloss: As well you should.  
  
**  
  
The door to the inn was kicked open, causing all inside to look up from what they were doing to a giant, overweight Lina. Xelloss was about to bend under the weight of all of her packages.  
  
Amelia rushed over to them, an energetic and ever-present cheer on her face. "Miss Lina! We discovered a way to make you....un-fat!"  
  
"Really?" Lina exclaimed. "That's great!" She threw her arms into the air, hitting Xelloss and knocking him over, the packages falling on top of him.  
  
"Does that mean I'm going to have to return all these clothes?" Xelloss asked, muffled under all the boxes.  
  
**  
  
"We have found four different approaches to curing you," Zelgadis said, looking at a brown clipboard. "The first involves exercise, exercise, and more exercise."  
  
"Yeah," Lina groaned, pumping a grounded bicycle. "You think?"  
  
"Don't slow down, Miss Lina!" Amelia exclaimed. "After this, you've got sit- ups, crunches, swimming, jumping jacks, aerobics, weight-lifting---"  
  
**  
  
Lina collapsed onto a couch in her room, some of the springs falling out of it. She breathed quickly and rapidly, holding her chest.  
  
"My heart's gonna stop any minute now," she said.  
  
"You did great, Miss Lina!" Amelia told her, patting her on the back. "And, tomorrow we can do the same thing all over again!"  
  
Lina's eyes grew big and round. "Um....if it's all the same to you, why don't we try one of the other approaches tomorrow.....this exercise thing is gonna kill me!"  
  
"Yeah!!" Gourry cried, excitedly jumping up and down. "Tomorrow we can try my way!!"  
  
**  
  
"Gourry....." Lina said.  
  
It was the next day, and Gourry had convinced her to try his method of weight loss. Lina was presently covered in pie filling and crust.  
  
"Shh!" Gourry hushed her. "I must have silence and concentration." He picked up another pie from a box full of them and threw it at Lina.  
  
"And, how is this supposed to make me skinny again?" she asked, wiping the pie off of her face.  
  
"Oh, is that what we're trying to do?" he wondered, grabbing another pie and eating it.  
  
"Urrrhh......" she growled. "Fireball!"  
  
**  
  
"We saved the best for last, Miss Lina," Amelia said. "This time, we'll try it my way."  
  
"I thought you said you had four ways," Lina replied, scraping pie crust out of her hair.  
  
"Well....technically, we do, but that's only as a last-minute kind of thing," the oujo said, shrugging. "Now, then, all you have to do, Miss Lina- is stop eating."  
  
"......"  
  
"....."  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
"No, Miss Lina." She shook her head, and pulled down a chart. "You see, this is you." She pointed to a bloated picture of Lina. "If you keep putting food in here, then you'll keep gaining weight. But, if you stop eating-"  
  
"I'll kill us all," Lina finished, darkly.  
  
"Well.....probably, but isn't it worth it?"  
  
"......"  
  
"Miss Lina?"  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
**  
  
"Does everyone know their position?" Amelia asked the four people in front of her.  
  
"Yes!" they replied.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, what is your position?"  
  
"I am to guard Lina's door so that she will not escape!" he answered, saluting her.  
  
"Mr. Xelloss? Your position?" Amelia inquired.  
  
"I'm guarding the windows! .....with ice cream!" he added, giving Lina a sly grin.  
  
"And, Mr. Gourry?"  
  
"I get to guard the food!! Woo-hoo!!" Gourry exclaimed, already grabbing the refrigerator and hugging it.  
  
"Finally, Miss Lina, do you know your position?"  
  
"Of course I do," she replied. "I'm sitting in my room watching t.v. with you. What could be simpler than that?"  
  
"Oh-kay!" the princess cried. "Everyone to your battle stations immediately!"  
  
Gourry swallowed a jar of pickles. "Yay! I love this job!"  
  
**  
  
Lina and Amelia sat on the couch, watching the documentary channel.  
  
"And, here we see the most interesting part of our documentary," a monotone Ben Stein voice said. "Watch as the Indian water beetle carves a hole in its small mud home so that it can leave at any time it sees fit."  
  
Lina's eyes were slowly shutting. Amelia was already snoring. Suddenly, Lina snapped to attention when she heard a grumble coming from her stomach.  
  
"Ohhh....." she groaned. "I haven't eaten in TWO HOURS!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!" She looked around the room, nervously. "I'll.....eat the paintings!!!!" She grabbed a painting of a loaf of bread and chomped a bite off of it. She swallowed it and sighed. "It's just NOT THE SAME!!" she wailed. "I've gotta get out of here....I've gotta get some food....but.....how....."  
  
**  
  
Zelgadis sat beside the hotel room door and sighed. This was going to be a long, boring day. He could be looking for his cure right about now, but no.  
  
He sniffed the air, smelling a perfume-like scent. He looked around to see that he was surrounded by a little pink smelly cloud. He coughed it out of his lungs and covered his nose.  
  
"Good grief," he sniffed. "What are they expiramenting with perfume in there?" He began to feel dizzy and light-headed as the cloud enveloped him. The chimera's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted.  
  
"Mwahaha," a voice cackled in the shadows. "You fell for it."  
  
Lina grabbed Zelgadis' leg and dragged him into the room. She laid him in between Xelloss and Amelia, who were also under the influence of Lina's knock-out perfume gas.  
  
Lina locked the door to her room and placed the key in her pocket. She sneaked down the stairs and past the lobby to the kitchen. Slowly, the sorceress peered her head around the corner to look for Gourry, supposedly standing guard. He sat at the table, about to eat a cheesecake whole.  
  
In a very Matrix-like move, Lina floated across the table and whacked Gourry on the neck, directly upon the pressure point, rendering him unconscious.  
  
"Yes," she cackled. "YES!!!" She opened the refrigerator door, a burst of heavenly music and bright light filtering from it. "There is a god," she said, thanking L-sama for the food she was about to eat.  
  
**  
  
Lina happily fell to the floor, with a loud plop. Her stomach had grown thirty times bigger, but she was still very content and satisfied.  
  
She stood up on her wobbly feet and waddled over to Gourry, who was sleeping face-first in the cheesecake. Shrugging, Lina lifted his head and took the cheesecake.  
  
She stuffed it in her mouth as she left the room, a fulfilled sigh escaping her. As she turned the corner to go back up the stairs, Amelia ran right into her, bouncing back about ten feet.  
  
"Miss Lina!!" she wailed. "You didn't!!! After all the work we went through!!! Now it'll take three times as long to get you back to normal size!!!"  
  
Lina's head sunk into her neck. "I know....say, what was that fourth thing we were going to try??"  
  
Amelia looked confused for a moment, then slowly smiled.  
  
**  
  
Amelia, Lina, Zelgadis, and Xelloss, who was hefting the still-unconscious Gourry stood in front of the tiny spring Lina had been in before.  
  
"And, just how is this supposed to work?" Lina wondered, doubtfully.  
  
"If we guessed right, then getting in the spring a second time should get you back to normal size," Amelia answered.  
  
"Why didn't we do this from the beginning, then????" Lina demanded.  
  
"Well, we didn't want to take the chance of you getting twice as big, but since you already are, you see...." Amelia said, slowly.  
  
"Oh....."  
  
Zelgadis glared at Xelloss. "You knew this would work the whole time, didn't you?"  
  
"Of course I did," he replied.  
  
Lina choked him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US, YOU CREEP???"  
  
"Gack!" the mazoku shrieked. "Well, Ididn'tthinkitmatteredatthetimeandbesidessorewahimitsudesu!!!!" he said quickly.  
  
The flame-haired sorceress released him. "I don't even care!!" She walked over to the edge of the water. "Wish me luck!" She jumped in, making an enormous splash. _I hope this works_ she said to herself, crossing her fingers. All of a sudden, everything got black once again.  
  
**  
  
"Miss Lina! Wake up!!" a voice called to her.  
  
Lina slowly opened her eyes and looked at Amelia. "What happened?" she wondered, holding her head in pain.  
  
"Go look at your reflection in the spring," Zelgadis told her.  
  
Lina jumped to her feet, suddenly remembering everything that had happened and rushed toward the spring.  
  
"I don't understand!!" she wailed. "Why didn't it work?"  
  
"It did, you baka," Xelloss growled, out of character, Gourry drooling all over his hair and shoulder.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Lina exclaimed, happily.  
  
Everyone else fell over.  
  
"Well, this was fun," Zelgadis said, flatly.  
  
"Let's not do it again," the mazoku priest grumbled, rising to his feet, still carrying Gourry.  
  
"HELLO VENEZUALA!!!!" Gourry suddenly exclaimed, waking up.  
  
"AAAHH!!" Xelloss cried, startled. He lost his balance, sending both himself and Gourry tumbling into the spring.  
  
"OH, great," Lina said, blandly. "That's just what we needed."  
  
Xelloss and Gourry floated to the top of the spring, looking like giant, inflatable water toys.  
  
"WEEEE!" Gourry squealed, rolling over in the water.  
  
"Why me?? Why does it always have to be me?" Xelloss asked.  
  
**  
  
Xelloss: No! That can't happen.....  
  
NoV: Well, it did in NoV's world. ^_^_^  
  
Lina: At least I was cured.  
  
Pocky: I'm the cutest mazoku in the universe!!!  
  
Xelloss: No, you're not! *big sparkly eyes* Xelas-sama is! I love her!!!  
  
NoV: Sorry if this was all kind bunched into one chappie....I wanted to get on to another fic, which will be great! Be sure to read "The Great Slayers Hyper Story"!!! 


End file.
